


A Blind Eye

by thecat_13145



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Numb3rs, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Implied Sexual Abuse, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Poisoning, Power Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4421501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecat_13145/pseuds/thecat_13145
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Ward is with Coulson's team, he is relieved to be free from Garret. But he fears one day his new handler will start taking advantage of him sexually. Coulson finds out about this and the truth about Wards relationship with Garret. </p>
<p>For an Avengers Kink Meme Prompt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don Eppes, Handler

**Author's Note:**

> For the Avengers Kink Meme Prompt "Everyone knows Garret brought Ward in and that Ward is his favourite. It's obvious that Garret and Ward are having sexual relations with each other. It's handler/charge relationships aren't prohibited but they are scrutinised to ensure the handler isn't taking advantage. I'd like everyone to know Garret has Ward under his thumb but no one to be brave enough to question or make sure Ward is okay. Everyone is avoiding the elephant in the room. 
> 
> Add to the mix that Ward is much younger than Garret and while he was older than the age of consent, mentally, Ward wasn't capable. 
> 
> Now that Ward is with Coulson's team, he is relieved to be free from Garret. But he fears one day his new handler will start taking advantage of him sexually. Coulson finds out about this and the truth about Wards relationship with Garret. "
> 
> First Part could technically be considered part of my Don Eppes, Agent of Shield Series, but personally I wrote and count it separately

“I’m not sure I can help you Agent Coulson.” Don Eppes paused to scribble a signature on his report before turning to face his visitor. “I was partnered with Ward for 3 months. If you’re having problems, then Garrets probably your best bet.”

“But you were the agent who wrote a report expressing concerns about Agent Ward and Agent Garret’s Relationship.”

Something dark crossed the ex-SHIELD Agent’s face and he glanced out of the office towards the bullpen where his team were sitting. “I withdrew my comment. The report was never followed up on.”

Coulson nodded. He opened a folder and flicked through it. “It was on your recommendation that Ward was passed as a Specialist.”

“Yeah, so what?” Eppes’s arms were folded defensively. “The Kid was good. He should have being a specialist years before.”

“But Garret never made the recommendation.”

Don dropped his gaze. “Yeah, well, I guess he had his reasons.”

“Such as.”

“Ask Garret.”

“I’m asking you.”

Eppes frowned. He got to his feet, closing the door and even pulling at the blinds to shut them.

“Look, I left SHIELD over five years ago. I’ve worked fucking hard at putting it behind me, rebuilding my life.” He shook his head. “SHIELD is my past.”

Coulson waited, mentally counting. Don evidentially still wanted to talk to someone about had happened. His suspicions were confirmed as the other agent sighed.

“You want the truth? Fine” He flung himself down into the chair. “At first, you tell yourself that it’s normal that Garret drops around after every mission. That he’s the kid’s first handler and he just wants to see that you’re taking care of him. Then you notice he…touches Ward every opportunity he gets and that Ward doesn’t object. So you tell yourself, it’s no big deal, that with Ward’s background, Garret’s just trying to get him used to normal contact. Only it’s not normal. “He glanced up at Coulson to check that the other man understood what he meant Coulson did. Nothing normally overtly sexual, but not normal contact, at least not for Ward. “Then you realise that there’s basically you and Garret, who Ward talks to socialises with. You figure that’s just…I don’t know, shyness, so you start encouraging Ward to stop and eat with you and some others. Not just the agents, the scientists, admin, guys he can take if he’s needs to, you know? You figure he’ll start making friends. He’s a good kid.” Coulson nodded. “Only it doesn’t work like that.”

Coulson watched as the FBI agent’s face twisted. “He’s tense, on edge, more so than when he’s on a mission, keeps looking over his shoulder. Then one time, just one, you’re looking the right way when Garret enters the room and…” Eppes shook his head. “There’s a signal. I don’t know what, but there must have being a signal, because five seconds later, Ward is picking up his tray, carrying over to the rack and leaving the mess hall.” He shook his head. “Nothing hurried about it, nothing to say that anything’s wrong, only it’s a hell of coincidence that it happens just as Garret enters the room.” There’s a pause before Eppes shook his head and continued. “And you realise you’ve being a complete and utter idiot. As blind as the families of any victims you’ve dealt with other the years, because you’ve seen the signs, but haven’t drawn the conclusion. So you follow procedure and you write a report.”

There’s a bitter note in his voice, which Coulson can understand.

“Why did you withdraw your accusation?” He asked. “You didn’t have to be a SHIELD agent to push the report through; your reasons for leaving were valid.”

Eppes got to his feet and began to pace across the room. “I left SHIELD because my mom got breast cancer.” He shrugged. “There was a history of it in the family, so we weren’t entirely surprised. The doctor’s though… they were surprised at the speed and the strength of the Cancer.” Eppes paused, running his hands over his face, looking at the blinds. “About two weeks after I left, I was copied on an email.” He shook his head, almost laughing “Just a standard SHIELD email that you get a million of a week, reporting that a base somewhere has lost level 10 substance. Only this one was sent to my personal email account.” Eppes glanced back him. “It said that a base in Guatemala, somewhere Garret should never have being near, had lost a vial of Ruby 11.”

Everyone in SHIELD knew that the Ruby drugs were a series which the CIA developed in the late fifties, early sixties. Their primary function was causing aggressive forms of cancer, which developed and spread quickly.

“My mom had a flu shot two days before she first noticed the lump.” Eppes swallowed. “Maybe I’d being in SHIELD too long and it was just a coincidence.”

“You don’t think so.”

Eppe’s face was grim. “It was a warning shot.”

“And you believe it came from Garret?”

Eppes shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe any more.” Silence reigned for a moment, before Eppes continued. “I withdrew my accusation, resigned from SHIELD. I gave into the threat and left Ward there.” He shook his head. “I was a fucking coward.”

“It’s not too late to change it.”

Eppes face faltered for a moment, and Coulson wondered how long had passed between that email and Eppe’s withdrawal of the accusation, before the other man shook his head. “I can’t. My dad and Charlie, they’re all I’ve got.” He glanced at Coulson. “You tell me you’ve got Garret in Custody. That he can’t hurt my family, then I’ll talk otherwise…”

“This conversation never took place.” Coulson got to his feet. He’s sorry, but he’s not surprised. Eppes had a family, a life he’d built after leaving SHIELD. Coulson can’t ask him to tear it all down on a hunch. “Thank you for your time, Agent Eppes.” He held out his hand. He expected Eppes not to take it or to ask him to deliver some message to Ward. Sorry or something along those lines.

Then he catches Eppes eyes and realised. You can only ask others for forgiveness, when you forgive yourself.


	2. Cam Sweets, Former Colleague

Kaxon’s buzzed and former SHIELD Agent Cam Sweets was led through the door. At the sight of Coulson, she sighed. “Actually, you know what? Think I’d like to go back to my cell.”

The guard smiled at her, then pushed her forward. Coulson watched carefully. She didn’t stumble, didn’t fight the guard, just let him lead her to the table and cuff her (cuffs he was fairly certain she could get out of in five minutes if she needed to, she had being a SHIELD agent) to the table. She smiled at the guard as he did this and then turned to smile back at Coulson.

“I knew SHIELD had problems with recruitment, but I didn’t think things had got this bad.” She observed. “Or is this one of your second chances, Agent Coulson? How long it going to be before one of them bites in the butt?”

He deliberately doesn’t think of Akela, and instead pushed forward. “You served with Grant Ward.”

Her face twisted. “Ward gave evidence against me at my court martial. If he told you I was a friend, then he’s lying.”

“He didn’t.” He paused and watched her. Her body language was technically correct for what her emotional response should be. Anger at a betrayal, but there was something off about it. It was too correct, too perfect. Unnaturally so. “But you were once.”

She shrugged, but didn’t deny it. 

“You knew Garrett as well.”

Her face twisted again. “Everyone knows special Agent John Garrett.” The bitterness in her voice was real this time, but there was an uncurrent of something else. Fear. 

“Agent Eppes spoke to you before putting in his report, where he expressed concerns about the relationship between John Garrett and Grant Ward.”

She made no response. 

“He said you were prepared to give evidence.”

“Cept it never came to that.”

“Why do you think that was?” 

She tossed her hair back from her head. “Eppes got cold feet. Like everyone else.”

“What do you mean?” 

She stared at him. “everyone knows that Ward’s completely under Garrett's thumb. Garrett said jump, Ward Jumped. Didn’t even look or ask how high.”

“Trust in your handler is essential.”

She snorted. “There’s trust and there’s control.” Her fingers tapped against the table. Coulson could tell she was still making up her mind whether she trusted him. He waited patiently. 

“This is just an example. We were on a mission in Latvia, meeting some of the resistance fighters there.”

Coulson nodded. 

“You know how you win the trust of the Latvian? You cut your own hand and exchange blood with them. “ She paused. “Garrett chucked the knife at Ward. Told him to do it.” She swallowed. “Ward caught it with the blade out. Didn’t flinch, didn’t react.” She glanced at him. “Would you ever ask one of your team to do that?”

“No.” Coulson shook his head. Her head tilted on one side, watching like she was trying to figure out if he was telling the truth.

“That wasn’t the scary part.” She said slowly. “It was the way Grant looked at him. Like Garret was…” She shook her head. “God almighty or something. No worse than that. It was the look you see a dog give it’s master. Unquestioning obedience, unquestioning loyalty.” She repeated it softly. “Unquestioning.”

The room was actually very warm, but Coulson had to fight to suppress a shiver. Cam jerked herself back. “Spent 6 months on that mission.” She said, her tone more normal. “Decided at the end of it that if that was SHIELD, then I didn’t want any part of it.”

“You could have resigned.”

She shook her head, suddenly. “No I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

She looked at him, the barriers up again. “You can never leave this life.” 

“Eppes did.” 

“Eppes could be warned to keep his mouth shut, to drop things.” Her voice was bitter. “I…that wasn’t an option with me.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

“Because?” She looked at him and he took a guess. “Because you tried to persuade Ward to go with you?”

She shrugged. “He considered it. That’s about the only thing that keeps me going in here. That stops me letting the next Hydra goon stick her knife in me. Only for five seconds, then he ratted me out to Garrett, but he thought about it.”

Coulson knew that. It had being in the court martial notes. Grant Ward had reported that Agent Sweets had declared to him her intention to desert SHIELD and had asked him to accompany her. Had given evidence to that effect at the court martial.

It was the first time he remembered being aware of the other side to John Garrett. To the ruthlessness that he’d heard others speak of. 

Jaspar had being very annoyed. the kid’s background…it made Ward’s look normal. A psychiatrist's report had flagged her as a high risk for turning, simply because she had no understanding of trust or loyalty because she’d never experienced it. There was no evidence that she had even considered going to one of SHIELD’s enemies. All in all, it looked like the kid had realized that she was in over head and panicked.

Yes, the junior agent’s attempt at desertion needed dealing with, but by the shrinks, not by a court martial. Coulson had agreed with him and tried to persuade Garrett to see their point of view, but Garrett had being firm. And as her CO, his opinion was the only one that mattered.

“Why didn’t you speak to anyone before your court martial? Express your concerns about Garrett?”

Her lips twisted into a smile. “Garret is a level 9 agent. I was a junior agent. So was the lawyer they assigned to me.”

“There are other level 9 agents. Or director.”

Her smile remained fixed. “It would have being my word against his. A junior agent who had already tried to desert and is a convicted liar before she joined SHIELD against Senior Agent John Garrett.” She shook her head. “a level 9 agent is as near to God as most of the junior agents will ever get. As near as most of us want to get.” She shook her head. “My lawyer told me not to make a bad situation worse with unsubstantiated accusations.”

“Ward might have backed you up.”

She laughed. “When Eppes came here, he actually knew what he was looking for. You’re still fishing around in the dark.” She smiled at him. “Let me ask you a question, Special Agent Coulson. Do you believe that Grant Ward is loyal to you, to your team?”

“I’d like to think so.” 

She snorted. “Bullshit. If Garrett ordered him to, he’d betray you. Betray your whole team. He wouldn’t like it. But he’d do it.”

There was no mistaking her sincerity. 

Cam Sweets glanced back at the guard. “I’d like to go back to my cell.”

The guard glanced at Coulson, who nodded.

As the guard unlocked her chains she smiled at him. A real smile. “Good luck agent Coulson.” She said. “You’re going to need it.”


	3. Jack Rollins, Former Teammate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning very mild sort of homophobia. If anyone thinks it needs a stronger warning, please let me know.

STRIKE Team agents were a minimum of level 8 and therefore qualified to know that Agent Coulson was alive.

Captain America, however, was not, which meant Coulson had to wait until the team returned to the HUB, before he could attempt to approach Agent Rollins. 

The team was in the gym, sparring practise.

Rollins actually had his team leader in a headlock, as Coulson approached.

“Agent Coulson.” Brock Rumlow, the STRIKE Team Leader, spotted Coulson. He bent forward, throwing his teammate to the floor, before straightening.

“Rumlow.” He smiled. “Need to borrow your second for a couple of minutes.”

Jack Rollins got to his feet, his face carefully expressionless. He was a big man, taller than Coulson or his team leader. Coulson smiled, attempting to put the other man at ease.

Rollins looked, if anything, more uncomfortable, as they walked away to the edge of the gym. Rumlow’s eyes bored into them, and Coulson suspected if Rumlow wasn’t aware that he outranked him, the other man would have insisted upon accompanying them.

Coulson had no problems with that. Everyone knew that Rumlow was very protective of his team, so he carefully positioned them that Rollin’s face was clearly visible.

“I need to talk to you about Grant Ward.”

Rollin’s face creased. Coulson heard,rather than saw Rumlow take a step towards them. Rollin’s head jerked up and he mouthed “It’s fine.” in Rumlow’s direction before replying to Coulson. “I don’t really know him.” He added almost to himself. “I doubt anyone does.”

“How do you mean?”

Rollins flushed slightly. “I just mean Agent Ward is a very private person. Sir.”

“You served him with him.”

“When we both first joined SHIELD.”

“Under Agent Garrett.”

Rollins nodded.

“What did you think?”

“Sir?”

“Of Agent Garrett?”

Rollins paused. “Agent Garrett is a very capable Agent, sir.”

Coulson smiled. “Interesting.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. Sir.”

“The Truth.”

“Agent Garrett is a very capable agent. A good commander.” He shrugged as if to say what else do you want me to say?

Coulson nodded. “And his relationship with Agent Ward?”

Rollin’s face remained contorted. “I prefer not to answer that question, sir.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t feel it’s my place to comment on relationship between Agents.”

“You didn’t approve?”

Rollins rubbed the back of his neck. “SHIELD was the first time I encountered...that sort of thing openly. It… seemed odd to me.”

“Because of the age gap.”

Rollins didn’t reply. 

“Because Garrett was Senior Agent?”

“Ward was fine,” Rollin interrupted. “I asked him, he said it was what he wanted.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t experience about stuff between guys, it made me uncomfortable. I dealt with it.”

Coulson raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure it was only the gender of the Agents involved that made you uncomfortable?”

“Yes sir.”

Coulson was fairly certain that the agent was trying to reassure himself, as much as Coulson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my new years resolutions was to improve my posting of fics I have written. I think it's safe to say I'm not doing very well so far, so sorry and I'll try to do better


	4. Ward Grant, Surivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, it is implied that May's relationship with Ward is similar to Ward's with Garret. I don't see it that way, and neither does Maria. Unfortunately, Ward is extremely, Extremely screwed up, which I will be tackling later on. Just please don't kill me before then.

Coulson had to be the most confusing commander that Grant Ward had ever served him.

Ward simply couldn’t figure out what he wanted.

May, he could understand. Ward had being weak, stupid. Had let Lorelei get him under her control. Had broken the rules.

She was angry about that, and that Ward understood, could understand. He had being weak and he had to be punished for it.

Except that Coulson seemed to disagree. Had stopped May from punishing him.

In the privacy of the sickbay, Ward frowned at the ceiling.

Before this, he thought he’d got Coulson sussed. Coulson believed in second chances, in the healing powers of an environment, that there was no one beyond redemption.

Ward…wasn’t sure what he believed, but he knew that Grant Ward wanted to believe in it, even if he denied it. So he mentored Skye, played stupid board games with the others, let Coulson believe that he was breaking through the icy veer that was wrapped around the other man. Only being careful not to let him see the steel underneath. 

Coulson had no interest in guys. And not in Garret’s “Not normally into this shit”, Coulson genuinely did not look at other men in a sexual manner, aside from the moderate admiration of another physic, which as far as Ward could tell was normal. Barton had confirmed that! 

And that had…being a relief, even if it makes him weak to admit it.

May on the other hand, reminded him of Garret. Of steel barely hidden behind silk. She was attracted to him, women always had being, and like Garret, after the worst of his weakness had being exposed, she offered him strength.

Only he had screwed up again, and May was mad at him.

That he understood and he would take whatever punishment she doled out. It was Coulson that confused him.

The confusion had properly begun after Lorelei.

Simmons had needed to do an medical examination, and Ward hadn’t objected. He could tell he would have a fairly impressive collection of bruises from May, but nothing he hadn’t had before.

He’d taken off his shirt and sat down on the bed, when he realised that Simmons was staring at him. Her face was pale and it seemed to take her couple of minutes, before she came forward, kneeling down so she had to turn her face up to look him in the eye.

Trying to make herself more vulnerable.

“Ward,” she said and there was a little tremble in her voice. “You know I have to ask this and whatever you tell me, I’ll believe and it’s in confidence and…”

He’d looked at her confused and she swallowed. “Did Agent May do this?” She said, pointing to three dull red lines running across his breast.

Ward had shaken his head. May’s nails weren’t talons, overly long and impractical. They were soldier’s nails, neat and sharp, but never enough to break the skin.

Skye’s nails were short. Ward suspected that she’d bitten them badly when she was younger, like Rachel had done, he sometimes still saw her hand sneaking to her mouth when she was stressed. 

“Did Lorelei?”

Simmon’s nails are a doctor’s nails, short and neat, no rough edges or anything that could catch or tear on the skin. He nodded.

“O.K.” Simmons repeated to herself. She looked up at him again. “Ward, I need you to understand that you’ve done nothing wrong and that what happened wasn’t your fault,” it took all of Ward’s determination not to snort at that. “But you know I need to tell Coulson about this.”

He nodded. Coulson was the team leader. He would have to know everything.

“And protocol states that I need all the clothes you are wearing, although what we’re supposed to do with them…” She swallowed. “Would you like someone else here? Fitz would be happy to help and he’ll never say a word to anyone_”

The thought of Fitz seeing him weak again, made nausea rise in his stomach and he leant forward. “Ward?”

He managed to shake his head very firmly.

“O.K.” She continued, “What about May? Or Sky_”

“Coulson” he managed to gasp out, because it was clear that Jemma wasn’t going to leave this alone. That she was going to keep suggesting that a chaperone should be present. He can’t fault her. It’s SHIELD protocol. It’s everyone’s protocol really. 

Jemma relaxed, so it seemed he’d made the right call. 

He got off the medical bed and lowered himself to the floor. Garrett had taught him the exercises back when he was still teaching him. Before SHIELD. Use them to focus, to centre yourself. They’d also being part of The Training.

He got back to his feet. Officially he was still confined to sickbay, though Coulson hadn’t explained why. 

Nothing May had done had done any permanent damage, just some bruises, bruised ribs and few cuts. She had been holding back, Ward wasn’t stupid enough to think he’d have stood a chance against the Cavalry otherwise.

He’d requested to be returned to duty, given a chance to make this right. Coulson had just kept looking at him, and had shook his head. He didn’t understand.

But it was an order.

Skye was still in isolation. Jemma had suggested that perhaps she might like to see him. Or him her. He’d shaken his head. No Rookie should see their SO weak. He should ask Coulson to reassign her to May. May was strong. May would train her….

Frustrated, he sat down on the bed. 

He didn’t understand why that kept happening. Why his mind kept going back to Garret, to his training. 

Jemma thought that it was Lorelei, that was making him quiet and snappish, even by Ward’s standards. She hadn’t said anything directly, but she kept telling him her movements before she made them, always keeping a slight distance between them. Fitz also kept being dragged into the Sickbay, even though he’d overheard him complaining to Jemma that there was nothing he could do, that he’d be more use in the lab. Perhaps Jemma thought they might talk about it together. 

There was nothing to talk about. Everyone expect Fitz to be weak. Even Jemma thought he needed looking after, protecting. 

No one thought that about Ward. No one ever had.

He’d flinched when Coulson touched his shoulder. Hadn’t meant to, but he’d been thinking about training. 

Jemma had asked if May had hit him there. He hadn’t said anything. She’d taken it as yes and given him another ice pack.

Coulson had known. Coulson kept watching him. Not like Garret watched him when he was almost undressed. More like Coulson looks at guys in the field. The ones who’ve made stupid choices, but he’s convinced it isn’t too late for them. 

When Jemma wandered out to get more ice, Coulson walked around and sat down on the bed opposite him.

“Who were you thinking of? Back there?” 

Ward had said nothing, staring at him his hands. He’d being surprised to realise they were shaking.

“Ward.” He kept his head down. “I asked you a question, soldier.”

Coulson’s voice hadn’t changed in tone or volume, but it was unmistakable an order. And the one thing Grant Ward, no matter what part he was playing, knew was that you followed orders. (He’d had it drilled into him enough. By his father, by Christian, by the instructors at the school, by Garret)

“Agent Garret, Sir.”

Coulson looked sick, and Ward had wanted more than anything else to take them back. To say nothing, whatever the consequences. He’d opened his mouth

And then Jemma walked back in, with more ice and chocolate digestives, which she insisted he took one of, even though he told her he didn’t really like them. It’s true. The chocolate on them is always terrible and it coats the top of your mouth. 

Coulson had walked out. That had being the last time he saw him.

According to Jemma, Coulson was on some mission. Probably something more to do with Skye. 

He got to his feet and started pacing, circling the bed. It was getting to him. Being here. Too much time to think. He needed to get out of here.

To go back to normality. To get back to the world making sense. For Coulson to punish him, kick him off the team even.

After all, Coulson and Garret were friends. 

He hadn’t said no. 

The doors opened and Jemma walked into sickbay, holding the battleship board between her outstretched hands.

She didn’t comment on him being out of bed. 

“Now Skye’s being telling me about this.” She said, carefully putting the board down. “What do you say? Winner plays Skye?”

He wanted to say no, but he knew if he did Jemma would get the same look in her eyes she did when they let him shower for the first time since Lorelei and he didn’t come out for over two hours. 

So instead, he walked over and sat down on the bed.

“B4.”  
Jemma smiled. “Missed.”


	5. The File

“It’s confidential.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I think what Special Agent Darling means,” Jakes interrupted, “Is that after a Agent leaves the academy, their file is marked as confidential. Relevant details are forwarded to HR, but full file remains confidential, unless the Agent is the subject of an internal investigation, where details held in the file could be relevant.”

He shot Coulson a look. Coulson nodded. “There have been concerns expressed about the way Agent Ward handled a situation recently. A full investigation seemed to be the most appropriate response.”

“A Little harsh.” Darling sighed, “But within protocol and your decision as Senior Agent.”

He opened a drawer, flicked through a couple of file holders and handed over a fold. Ward, G. was scratched, almost invisibly in the top corner. 

“It’s as complete as we can. Understandably, with the family, there are gaps. “ He looked apologetic. Coulson took the file. 

“I’ll show you the office.” Jakes led the way into the corridor and turned to glare at Coulson. “Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?”

“You know full well what Look.” Jakes sighed. “Look, I know he’s a bit...by the books. But what do you expect when you kidnap my first choice? The kids here aren’t Science you know. Pranks, targeting of admin, that’s the norm. Darling’s the first one to last more than a month Since May. I suppose,” He admitted thoughtfully. “With a name like that, he must be used to it.” He glanced sideways at Coulson. “What’s this all about?”

Coulson smiled. “Just following a lead.”

“On your own team?” Jakes sighed, running a hand around his scalp. “Look, don’t tell me. I get the feeling I don’t want to know.”

Coulson nodded. “Honestly, wish I didn’t. You’ve done the rest?”

“All the instructors and staff who were here at the same time as Ward.” Jakes sighed again. “There aren’t that many. You know this place, turn over of staff is high. They get the opportunity to go back in the field, they jump at it.”

“I know.”

He looked at Jakes, taking in the other man’s legs, ending in curved metal runners and his left claw like hand. 

“Would you?”

Jakes grinned. “In a heartbeat.”

He pushed the door open. “You want time to read it first?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Jakes snugged. “No skin off my nose. Just buzz when you’re ready for the guys.”

He turned and walked away.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Agent Coulson openly acknowledged that one of his faults was he didn’t know when to drop something. He normally pointed out that this lack of knowing had brought at least 5 assets into SHIELD and saved the agency numerous times, so could be viewed as an advantage.

Others (Fury, May, Sitwell) either glowered or threw something at him when he brought this up. 

And he knew any of them would tell him to drop this. That it was none of his concern, but he didn’t feel he could.

In the privacy of his office, Coulson reached out, pulling Ward’s file towards him. Because there had to be an answer in there.

He had know that there was something wrong. That Ward was afraid of him. 

It was something of a novel sensation to Coulson to be the object of someone’s fear. He’d spent most of his life perfectly the deceptively harmless, forgettable, unnoticeable personality, which rarely inspired anything in anyone. But Ward was tense around him, even when they were in a room with the others and when they had headed out together alone… Ward had being like a man facing execution. In fact, the other man had looked like that would be a preferable fate.

The first page of the report was a summary, boxes noting skills weakness, past partners (not many in Ward’s case), list of mission and a summary of history before joining the agency.

The second pages gave more details about the Agent’s past and missions. 

He winced because reading Ward’s early life was like looking at the aftermath of an accident. All you can see are incidents where it could have, should have being stopped. School reports, going right back to Kindergarten. Teachers mentioning suspicious bruises, strange behaviour, unexplained aggression. Nothing followed up on.

Then there’s the fire. 

There’s a six month gap between Ward’s initially recruitment and his turning up at the academy. It’s not uncommon, particularly not for a kid with Ward’s background. A chance to work out any underlying issues, to access if the damage was permanent and if so how badly permanent. The reports from such an assessment aren’t usually included in the agent's file, unless they'd something big highlighted in them. 

Garret requested Ward right out of academy, almost as soon as the kid was qualified. He’s the kid’s longest running partner...

Coulson blinked. He reread the paragraph to make sure he’d got that right.

Garret requested Ward as a trainee agent almost immediately, but didn’t collect him until two days before the deadline.

Coulson could still remember those days, the knowledge, the fear that if an senior agent didn’t agree to take you, then you washed out, remembers the fear, the tension. It had being hell. For Ward… already screwed up it must have by passed hell pretty quickly.

The early missions are also telling. They’re a long way from SHIELD, two man missions. Successful, but tough, especially for a young agent. Then there’s a mission gone wrong. Garret saving Ward’s life.

It was easy to criticise Garret for being too eager, too efficient, pushing too hard, no real malice, just over enthusiastic or overestimating the kid, but with what Eppes said. With what Cam had said, with what Rippon hadn’t, a different picture was emerging. 

Initially, tough, isolating mission, never giving Ward an opportunity to interact too long with other agents. With no back, no support from fellow agents, Ward dependence on Garret must have increased.

By the time Ward met Eppes, Ward had being taught, programmed if you wanted to put it that way, that there was no one out there he could trust. No one would speak up or stop it. 

Even so, little things crop up. Injuries that the medics are curious about, one agent reporting concerns about the relationship between Ward and Garret. The agent in question had ended up dead two months later, but the report had never being followed up on. Garret was an senior agent in SHIELD. Untouchable. Like Cam and Eppes had said.

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. Jakes stood there.

“Sorry,” He said. “But you were so silent…” He looked at Coulson oddly. “Everything alright?”

“Not really.” Coulson looked at him. “You ever go on a mission and you think you know what you’re looking for. What you’re dealing with. Only you suddenly realise that things may be much worse than you thought. Much worse than you ever imagined.”

Jakes was staring at him. Coulson shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He paused. “Was there something you needed?”

Jakes nodded slowly. “The doc asked if you’d mind if he went first. He’s got a class in a couple of hours.”

“Not a problem.” Coulson closed the file and slide it under the desk. “If you want, you can send him in.”

Jakes nodded. “Thanks” and walked out of the room.


End file.
